Human!
An
Amazing Creation of God...
Know
Yourself
by
Knowing
your
Hidden
Strengths
and
Harsh
Weaknesses.
About the Author:
I
am not a professional writer, not an English speaking person but I have a
read-a-holic tendency. My inclination toward the study of human behavior and its
diversity is so intense. According to my initial observation, the most
interesting point was that every individual reacts differently in even the same
kind of situation. Same situation and altogether different reactive behaviors
by every individual. I believe that too many different reactions are due to a
trigger of emotions at different levels and intensity. Even a varied level of
intensity may lead to very different reactive behavior. This is the cause that
leads everyone to a reactive behavior that happens to be different from others.
We may have the same emotion but the intensity may vary on the basis
personality build-up. And due to the difference in the level of intensity, your
reactive behavior could entirely be different. I am aware that my topic of
writing may trigger a great debate in Psychiatry. But at the same time, I am
sure positive debate will benefit humanity. Before this attempt, nobody has
tried to address negative emotions under one book. I am trying my level best to
gather these built-in human traits under one book for a better understanding.
My major focus is on:
1) Why do we have negative Emotions?
2)
How, why and when they get triggered?
3)
What are the effects of these behaviors on our body?
4)
A moral story just for igniting the thought process
5) Exercises to control these
abrupt reactive behaviors which are known as “Negative Emotions”.
Preface:
The
main objective and motivational force behind writing this book is that I have
observed most of us know ourselves very little and it's a common-sense point
that more you know yourself more you would be able to gain control over
yourself and avoid mistakes, most importantly failures. Because *more you know,
lesser you make mistakes... lesser you make mistakes, more you are able, to
minimize the chances to failures. Nobody likes to face failure at the same time
very few understand that the majority of failures are due to their
OWNshortcomings, lack of knowledge, exposure, and experience. It is a well-known
fact that human is a very complex creation of God. A composite of Soul, Body,
and Emotions. Interestingly only one is tangible rest of the two are invisible,
neither Soul nor emotions are quantifiable. The ultimate connection between
soul and body keeps a human alive and every living person is full of emotions
when the soul departs the body it gets destroyed within hours.
In
life we are always on driving seat of our will, we do whatever we want, we
play, study, earn, spend, save, marry, divorce, learn, teach, sleep, awake and
many many more things, we all do in our lives. In other words, you are master
of yourself. But did you notice? At times there are some certain things which
overpower your personality and put you on hind-side from driving seat, YES!
That is the strongest intangible power that overpowers you. That is your EMOTION.....We have two types of
emotions, Positive and Negative emotions. Positive emotions do contribute to
strengthening the relationships between people but negative emotions overpower
our actual personality and may lead to a disaster of any relationship. We all
have built-in negativity in ourselves but by default, nobody is a bad or
negative person. Sometimes there are
strong negative moments that overpower our actual personality. You become, what
you are not, you have never been before. That is the state of mind that takes
over the control of you for that specific moment. That special power is
EMOTION. So, know yourself and gain
control over yourself. Be what you are and avoid to become what you have never
been before getting engulfed in a negative emotion and never wanted to be.
Introduction:
A
very popular proverb;
Seeing is believing
It
is a very natural human tendency that we don't care about those things which
are not visible or in other words, we do believe only those realities which are
tangible and we can see, Emotions are intangible and has no physical body, that
is the reason a common person does not give that much importance to them, We
should give due importance to our hidden strengths and weaknesses. A lot has
been written on the topic of emotions, but not as the main topic, most of the
time it is written as a secondary topic of some other psychiatry topics.
Emotions:
Emotions
are part and parcel of our personality and they are displayed into many forms
and manifestations. It is imperative to understand that emotions are very
strong driving force to push you into a certain direction and can overpower
your personality, either you wish to go in that direction or not, you become a
slave to your emotion and obey blindly that direction.
For
example: When a child is recalcitrant for some kind stupid wish to his mother,
amazingly she does surrender in front of that stupid wish or demand. Do you
know what happens? The emotion of motherhood overcome the sensibility and
rationality. The emotion of motherhood overpower rationality. This example
belongs to the positive emotion of Motherhood. You need to understand when a
positive emotion can play a negative role in your life, how much disaster a default
negative emotion can do to you and your life.
A
very popular proverb:
What we see ... What we want
It
is a common human psyche that we are able, to see only those things which we
really, want to see. All frauds in the
world are done by exploiting this basic human psyche. As human beings, we are
very strongly bound with our emotions. You can't change your default weaknesses
but you can try to know them and understand their existence into your
personality, you can perform certain exercises to control yourself more
efficiently. Emotions are naturally
occurring faculty in all humans sometimes these are very useful and provide us
extra strength but sometimes they can push us into a strange direction where we
would never want to run into if we were in a normal state of mind. Mainly we
can categorize emotions into two categories:
1)
Positive Emotions
2)
Negative Emotions
Positive
and Negative Emotions are like HDL (Good Cholesterol) and LDL (Bad Cholesterol)
in the body. Positive emotions help strengthen relationships and negative
emotions may destroy relationships. Please keep in mind human is a social
animal, humans can't survive without relationships, and in jail, the cruelest
and hard punishment is called Solitary confinement. Why all prisoners rate this
punishment as the most harsh and cruel act because even in jail as human beings
they need company. Before moving forward let me reiterate this basic point,
emotions are the part and parcel of our personality and we cannot avoid, escape
or hide from them, we need to know, face and understand them thoroughly, more
we know, more we can control ourselves.
Remember!
Knowing, Learning and Rectifying yourself is a lifelong process. You can’t
learn everything at once... so you keep learning whole life and at the same
time you can't completely rectify yourself, it is also a continuous and life
long process. The main objective of this writing is to establish an
understanding of Negative Emotions. Because negative emotions can destroy a
life forever. Positive emotions may also become our weakness at times but
Negative Emotions do play a very strong role in destroying our lives. So my
main objective is to help my brothers and sisters to know and control their
negative emotions. In the next chapter, I will discuss types and kinds of
negative emotions, which will include, why do we have this too much negativity
in us? Why this was essential for us? And how can we control it? See many faces
of Negative Emotions
There
are many faces of negative emotions which may include:
1) Anger
2) Arrogance
3)
Hate
4) Jealous
5) Fear
6) Greed
7) Lust
Anger:
A
proverb:
“Anger starts from stupidity
and ends up in embarrassment”
Hazrat
Ali RA
Anger
is the most common and frequently occurring emotion in all humans. It is highly
unlikely that one person don’t face it at least 3-4 times a day.
What
is Anger?
Why
do we have it?
How
it plays a negative role in our everyday life?
Why
it is so important to know anger in its all forms and manifestations?
Before
starting our discussion let us have a glance at what world's greatest opinion
leaders in psychiatry say about anger.
Sigmund Freud
An
influential proponent of catharsis believed that repressed fury could build up
and fester, much like steam in a pressure cooker, to the point that it caused
psychological conditions like hysteria or trip-wired aggression. The key to
therapy and rosy mental health, said Freud and his followers, is to dampen the
pressure of negative feelings by talking about them and releasing them in a
controlled manner in and out of treatment.
American Psychological Association
*Anger*
is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel
has deliberately done you wrong. *Anger* can be a good thing. It can give you a
way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find
solutions to problems. But excessive *Anger* can cause problems.
Medicine. Net
Anger:
An emotional state that may range in intensity from mild irritation to intense
fury and rage. Anger may have physical effects such as raising the heart rate,
blood pressure and the levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline.
Raymond
Describes
Anger as a protective mechanism activated against some kind of external force,
which means Anger is originally categorized as a "Reaction" to some
kind of unwanted action.
Raymond DiGiuseppe, Raymond Chip Tafrate,
Understanding Anger Disorders, Oxford University Press, 2006, pp. 133–159.
What is Anger?
Definition of Anger:
Anger
is a quick reaction to something which you dislike consciously or hate
subconsciously. It may trigger in a flash of seconds, it might be a mix of
strong physical and psychological reactions. This may include loud voice, oral
abuse, and harsh physical touch and to some extent, it may lead to physical
fight also. Anger is a natural faculty in humans. Expression of Anger in front
of an inferior or a weaker person may not harm you too much but expressing
Anger in front of a stronger person than you may result as a disaster for you.
The correct definition of anger should be...
Loss
of equilibrium between mind and body, strong invasion of scattered and
irrational thoughts, uncontrolled vocals and involuntary physical movements may
be classified as ANGER. A state of mind when only negative thinking may
prevail. No reasoning works, rather reasoning plays a catalyst in worsening the
situation.
Role of Anger on body parts:
Brain:
When you encounter Anger, it affects your brain first, strong electrical
impulses are generated into your brain and all normal thinking processes are
put on hold immediately. And a strong message is sent to different parts of the
body, which may play a role in accomplishing this current task. And that task
is nothing but fight.
Heart:
It leads to increased heart rate and an increase in blood pressure up to a
serious level
Muscles:
A strong message is sent to all muscles and they get stiffed as a reaction.
Vocal cords:
An additional strong message is passed to vocal cords through additional blood
supply to raise the voice to meet the situation.
Now,
you should have a clear understanding of what anger can do to you. You have not
affected psychology only, you get affected physically too. So, knowing your harsh
weakness will definitely, help you control yourself. You may avoid to flow into
the flood of extreme negativity.
Why do we have Anger in us?
Remember!
There is nothing in us that is useless or unnecessary our all qualities either
positive or negative are very carefully designed by our creator. We have been awarded several functions and
qualities.
As
human beings, we use many languages to communicate with each other and out of
those languages, "Body language" is very common and strongest…. A recognized
way of expressing and communicating with others about your liking and disliking.
Anger is an automated reaction of whole body and mind on a specific event due
to any disliking or subconscious hatred, Remember! Anger is awarded you by
nature as a strong expressing gesture because all humans have it and do recognize
this language of expression very easily. So, it is a natural faculty awarded
you to communicate with others to express your disliking or hatred.
Disliking
and Hatred is a very wide subject it may be triggered by:
1)
Wrongdoing
2)
Unprincipled act
3)
Personal disliking
4)
Personality clash
5)
Inferiority complex
6)
Superiority complex
7)
Defeatist experience
If
you know and recognize that your anger is a natural faculty. You just cannot
eliminate, escape or hide from it. As a sensible person, you will decide to
face your weaknesses and negativity by your conscious, instead of your
subconscious, you can use it practically and consciously to express your
concern over your disliking or hatred. You have to understand this basic point
you can't change your composition designed by nature and you can't get rid of
your built-in weakness but you have a strength of getting knowledge, learning
and implementing it.
How can you display a controlled Anger as a
reaction?
1)
You can use the tone and pitch of your Voice by making it very cold and
emotionless in your voice gesture.
2)
You can use your Eyebrows, Eyes and strong face reaction, help express your
inside fire or cool.
3)
You can display the involuntary movement of hands and other body parts.
Remember! Anger is a faculty, granted you to display
and extend a reaction to others on your disliking or hatred through your eyes,
hands and voice and facial expressions. Because body language is the strongest
way to communicate with others, it allows you to express your immediate
reaction.....if you express in a controlled and positive manner, it may become
your strength and if it is expressed rashly it may turn into a disaster for
you.
If
you know yourself and you understand that Anger is given to you as a strong
expressive body language to display your disliking about anything, behavior or
event. You can display anger in a controlled way as a tool to handle other
people, to express your disliking, it can be a successful way and you will be
able to use your very strong negative emotion in favor of you.
Anger
of a weak person and anger of a strong person may impact society in absolutely different
ways. A weak person’s anger affect directly to him/herself and a strong
person’s anger always affect people in his surroundings.
- Various forms and manifestations of Anger:
- Short term or instant Anger:
- Any instant reactive behavior in response to any unprincipled, unacceptable and unwanted,
- 1)
Thing
- 2)
Event
- 3)
Place
- 4) Time
An Anger Fable:
As
per our early discussion, Anger is a very quick and reactive emotion that may
take control of your personality in a few seconds. And the bearer of it could
reach any height of being unreasonable without considering and fearing the size
of losses he might face. Now! Find below a Fable that will lead you to think
twice before you reach any height of Anger.
Kings
Anger:
A
king was known for his justice and wisdom not only in his country but countries
sharing borders with his kingdom. Though he had many women into his palace for
his service but his most loving queen was his first wife. He was very fond of
her beauty and wisdom. He used to say about her that she has a unique and
lethal combination of beauty and wisdom. He always felt so soothing and relaxed
in her company. Probably, it was her great skill of knowing the pulse of his
husband. She knew exactly the every mood swing of her husband and acted
accordingly, she was a master in bed with him providing that passion which made
her husband crazy about her, this habit and skill made her superior to all
other counterpart women in the palace.
King
loved her more than anything or any other person in his life and this strong
love developed a strong sense of possessiveness on her and he made her everything
special. His mornings started on her awakenings and nights ended up on her love
signings. Life was so beautiful and amazing with her.
Once
upon he had a too much busy day due to some Governance issues and he had to
work by late night. Even he had dinner with his colleagues in the office. When
he left his office, he was too tired and wanted to go into bed with his beloved
wife. He was walking softly and slowly to his bedroom. He entered in bedroom
and noticed his wife was asleep in deep mode. He glanced at her beautiful and
innocent face with love and affection. He decided not to awake and disturb her
and moved silently to the other side of the bed, that was his side of sleeping?
But
... what happened? ... What was that???? A black Negro slave was sleeping in
the bed covering his sleeping side. He had an epileptic-like shock into his
head. The Queen was sleeping with Negro slave, the Queen who was incomparable
with any other person in the world, the Queen who was center stage of his life. He had nothing important and loving in his
life. The sense of possessiveness toward Queen was at the highest peak. His
Anger triggered in a flash of second and was on its peak... He had only point
in his mind after seeing this scenario, that the Queen is unfaithful to him and
slept with a black slave. She should be punished. He ordered to behead her
immediately. She begged for her life and tried to explain that she is not
guilty but King's Anger made him deaf, dumb and blind on her crying and
screaming..... He was burnt into the fire of deceit and deception. Sense
dejection if too strong and painful for him. ... And finally, she got executed.
After this execution, his Anger started coming down and sorrow of his love
started gripping his heart. Then he suddenly recalled, where is that black
slave? Who was sleeping with his wife?
He ordered to present him in front of him immediately, the slave was there and
shivering due to fear of beheading. Because King’s Anger was gradually leaving
him and he was coming back to his personality instead of an avenger. He
questioned slave...
For
how long she was sleeping with you?
The
slave was surprised by this question, he replied in a very low and weak voice,
She
never slept with me, it was my mistake, in the evening, when I was cleaning and
settling your bed, nobody was in the bedroom. I felt so good by touching your
soft and silky bed. Nobody was there, I thought to take the pleasure of King's
bed and slipped into it. It was more comfortable and soothing then I have ever
thought. I took a blanket on me and was out of mind due to an amazing pleasure,
I was into another world. I could not stop myself from falling asleep. When
sleep got me I never knew, the sleep could be that much sound and deep. When I
woke up, you were shouting and trying to beat Queen. The slave was crying and
tears were running fast out of his eyes. And he was saying one sentence again
and again,
Her
Highness Queen never slept with me… She never slept with me.... it was all my
mistake ... all my mistake... King was also crying like a child with hiccups
... what his Anger did to him... He lost the most precious asset of his
life.
Anger
is a very dangerous negative emotion, it can take away your wisdom, and making
you a perfect stupid, it can take away your sight making you blind, and it can
destroy lives in a flash of the moment.
If
you, REALLY want to know yourself you need to know about anger and at the same
time, you also need to know how to control it. Once you know, this negative
emotion is a faculty given to you as a strong body language to express your
disliking or hatred about any specific thing. Don’t let it control you, make
sure you control your anger by using it as a body language to express your
disliking and hatred.
